SOMETIMES SELF CARE LOOKS LIKE TELLING PEOPLE TO FUCK OFF

I recently saw the title of this blog post on social media - said by unknown. Written in the most simplest of terms... it is true that, sometimes, telling people to fuck off is the best thing you can do for yourself.

There are many reasons why people behave the way they do and it runs much deeper than what is portrayed on the surface. Anyone who has become enlightened about their own demons can recognise that other's behaviour is a reflection of themselves, not you. When experiencing difficult times we can act out of character because we find it hard to deal with our emotions, blaming others for our problems and choosing to be a victim of the world.

Since entering my thirties I now believe in 'forgiving but not forgetting'... it is painful to hold grudges. It is a heavy weight for our souls to carry. We don't have to forgive the action, just the person so we can move on in peace. We can be totally justified in feeling angry but it is a high price to pay for being the vessel of anger. Forgiveness does not mean 'What you did is okay to me' - it simply means 'I am no longer willing to carry around pain in response to your actions." When we hold unforgiveness in our hearts, we only punish ourselves.

However there is a fine line between excusing and justifying others behaviour and analysing why they are the way they are versus not putting up with their shit any longer. We have to ask ourselves why should we waste our own time and energy trying to understand them, justifying their behaviour and actions when put quite simply, the best way we can protect ourselves at times is to tell them to fuck off in which ever tone of voice is necessary.

After much hard work, pain, tears and showing kindness to myself, I am now in a place where I am at peace with my past. I have learnt that carrying around anger towards myself and others who have wronged me, family and friends just eats away at me, my energy and what I attract in my life.

As Yogi Bhajan says:

"If you are willing to look at another persons behaviour toward you as a reflection of the state of their relationship with themselves rather than a statement about your value as a person, then you will, over a period of time cease to react at all."

To get to that level of peace is liberating and it can take a lifetime of practice to cease not reacting at all. But sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves is to tell others who drain us, weigh us and go against our values is...

I forgive you but do fuck off.